The Ankle String

One of my most embarrassing moments was at the recording of a podcast. I was the guest. Somehow I hadn’t rehearsed in my mind how the whole thing would start. My friend and host of the show, Steve Cockram started out with his larger than life introduction, “We have the honor or having Armandee Drew with us today in the studio; Armandee tell us about yourself!” 

My comfort with “winging it” flew right out the window. Long pause, slight annoyance and panic from Steve…more time passes; I was frozen. Blank. Nothing meaningful enough came to mind to say. It felt like an eternity. Steve moved on graciously, but I was so embarrassed and so disappointed in my inability to push through and find words. I wanted to say something wonderful to start the show, for my friend Steve, and for myself. This kind of shame can stay with a person. It is amazing how easily we can get blocked from being ourselves and living fully into our destiny. I say destiny because I know that my voice is meant to be heard, and so is yours!

Because liberation is a theme I like to write about, I often think of the elephant with the string tied around her ankle, the string that keeps her captive. Because it used to be a chain.

Freedom comes when we identify what we have become captive to, and let go, detangle ourselves from the fears, bonds, beliefs, and wounds we hold onto from the past. Our choice and focus can enslave us more than our reality. A mindset based on trust in good things vs. fear of bad things, is the oversimplified key. But it is the key, a matter of choice and focus.

Sometimes I feel that string around my ankle.

It is pretty important that we can forgive ourselves when we blow it in situations like my freezing up on Steve’s podcast. This wasn’t a deep trauma, but whenever the situation arises to introduce myself publicly or where there is an expectation that I will say something important, I feel the string around my ankle. It comes in the form of fear and shame, and extreme doubt in myself. I remind myself of the elephant. It is only a string.

Then I remind myself of the truth: I’ve introduced myself a million times and I can do it again regardless of who is listening. How many beautiful successes can I remember and focus on rather than that one epic fail? Forgive self, look back at successes, and re-imagine a better story to anticipate. The past is gone and I can try again. I am powerful and free!

If needed, I encourage you to forgive yourself today for any such failure; and fail forward, fiercely fighting for another chance to be your true self!

Try it on…

Good things come my way.

I am enough. I belong. I am powerful and free!

 

Armandee Drew